Alone
by Celeybear
Summary: Loneliness was always her best friend. She trusted it more than anything. But when she meets a certain guy, she realizes that being Alone isn't what she wanted anymore.
1. Chapter 1

Have you ever had your heart-broken? I have. Too many times to count. It got to the point where I almost expected it. So why was this time any different? Why did I believe that I had a chance of someone actually loving me? Because he had done something that no one had ever done before. He promised he wouldn't leave.

When I was in the first grade, my father was the first to leave. Every day he would pick me up from school. He would greet me with a big hug and swing me around. We would spend an hour in the park drinking juice boxes. He would tell me funny stories until it was time to go home. We would listen to the same sing-along tape on the way home.

One day my dad forgot to pick me up. I waited for what seemed like hours. My teacher kindly waited with me, but I could tell she wanted to go home.

Eventually my father's car pulled up and I was so excited. But it wasn't my dad. Instead my older sister, Alice, stepped out of the car. She rushed over to me and pulled me into a hug. I could tell something was very wrong. She helped me into the car and put all my stuff away. Before she got in, she talked to my teacher. I looked at them through the car window. My teacher was frowning. I was very confused because she always had a smile on her face. _Why was my teacher frowning?_

"Alice why was Mrs. Williams frowning?" I asked my sister while we were driving off.

Alice was a little surprised at my question. She wasn't sure how to answer. "Sometimes adults get sad. Even the ones who are always happy."

"Oh. Alice where's daddy?"

My sister stayed silent for a while. I couldn't see her face from the back seat, but I heard quiet sniffles. "Daddy's gone away."

I frowned. "Why did he go away?"

She pulled the car over onto the side of the road. I saw her grip the steering wheel tight before looking back at me. Her face was wet and puffy, like mine when I had skinned my knee from falling off my bike. She smiled at me, but it wasn't Alice's usual smile. This one was very different.

"Sometimes adults get sad. Even when they always seem happy." She whispered. For a six-year-old, I had no idea what she had meant. It wasn't until later on that I really understood.

My dad never came back though. There were no big hugs that would swing me around. No more hours at the park drinking juice boxes. No more funny stories or sing-along tapes. There was no more him. I never forgave him.

When I was 13, I had lost my mother. She had been very sick for a long time. In her last few months she had gotten worse. She tried pretending like everything was going to be okay, but I knew the truth. The day she died she made me promise to be careful with my heart and only open it up to the one who was worthy of it. For a thirteen year old, I had no idea what she had meant. It wasn't until later on that I really understood. The next day my mother had died and I was sent to live with my sister. Alice was all the family I had left.

Over the years I had friends who would come and go. None of them lasted very long. I didn't blame them though. Who would want to be friends with the sad girl who had no one?

When I was 18, my sister killed herself. Alice had left a note saying that she was sorry for leaving me. Apparently, she had been sad for a long time. I hadn't noticed because she had always seemed happy. It was then that I understood what Alice had meant those many years ago.

The note also said that even though she couldn't handle life anymore she knew I could. She said that I was very strong. I had no idea what she meant because I felt pretty damn weak at the time. Everyone I had once loved was gone. After that I learned that nothing good can come from loving someone.

After college I moved to London. I got a job and had my own little apartment. I had one friend named Taylor. She was extremely nice. A bit out there, but still a good person. I was still careful though. I was prepared for her to leave at any second.

She was always trying to get me to go to parties with her. "You need to get out and meet people!"

I would always shake my head and reply. "I'm perfectly fine only knowing you."

However, one day I did the unthinkable. I agreed to go with her to a party. Why I said yes, I'll never know for sure. Maybe I was feeling a little lonely that night. Being alone was something I was used to. Loneliness had become my friend, but that night it was nothing more than a nuisance.

I had never been to party, so I only had T.V. and movies to go by. From what I learned they were filled with drunken people dancing, doing idiotic things, and going into different rooms to have sex. However, this party wasn't anything like that. People were drinking, but no one was drunk out of their mind. The atmosphere didn't seem as hostile as I expected; which made me relax a little.

"I'm going to get something to drink. Want anything?" Taylor asked.

"I'm good." I wasn't in the mood to drink.

Taylor left and I drifted to a nearby couch. If I had known anyone other than Taylor, than I probably would have mingled instead of sitting there like the loser I was. I was starting to hate being alone.

After a while, Taylor never came back. I was starting to get anxious. _Maybe she finally realized I wasn't worth being friends with. Maybe coming to this party was a bad idea after all._ I was about to leave when someone sat next to me on the couch. I looked over to see a really cute guy with the prettiest green eyes sitting awfully close to me.

"What's a beautiful girl like you sitting here all alone?" He asked.

"I'm waiting for someone." I looked away embarrassed. My experience with guys wasn't that great. My experience with anyone actually wasn't great at all.

"Boyfriend?"

"Ha!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. My hand flew over my mouth. _Nice going idiot!_ "N-No. No boyfriend."

He chuckled at my awkwardness. "That's a shame."

I didn't know how to respond, so I just sat there quietly. After a few minutes of silence, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and smoothed out my dress. "It was nice chatting with you, but I have to go find my friend now. Bye."

"Wait!" The guy held on to my wrist before I could turn away. He stood up and I realized how much taller he was compared to me. "I have something I want to show you."

Once again, I did the unthinkable and let the stranger guide me to wherever he was going. His grip on my wrist wasn't even tight. I could have easily pulled away, but something was telling me to follow him. We walked up a set of stairs and passed a few rooms. He led me into a bedroom and closed the door behind us. My body went tense.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to make a move." He reassured me. He walked over to the window and opened it. The guy looked back at me before stepping out. "You coming?" He held his hand out to me.

_Was I really about to do this?_ _I could go back downstairs. But where's the fun in that? _My mind went back and forth. Finally, I sighed with defeat and gave in. I took his hand sending thousands of sparks to shoot out throughout my body. I looked up and saw him smile before climbing out the window. _Well, here goes nothing._


	2. Chapter 2

I tried to look cute as I stepped out the window. But me being me, that didn't quite work out so well. My foot ended up getting caught on the windowsill. I would have almost fallen flat on my face if it weren't for the very beautiful stranger who led me on the roof.

"Whoa there!" He caught me but in a not so flattering position.

"Thanks." I mumbled as he helped me back up.

He smiled. _What a gorgeous smile. _"No problem. Wouldn't want that pretty face of yours getting all scratched up."

I laughed nervously. Compliments... Not something I was use too. The breeze hit me causing me to shiver. _Ugh! Why did I let Taylor talk me into wearing a dress? _

"Here take my jumper." The guy took off his jumper leaving him in a white button up.

"No, you don't have to." I protested.

"I insist." He held out the jumper to me. I hesitated before taking it and putting it on.

The jumper was very warm and soft. It also smelled really good. _Do all boys' jackets smell like this?_

"Not all of them." He smirked.

My eyes went wide. "D-Did I say that out loud?"

He nodded and laughed before sitting down. A few minutes later he looked up at me. "You can sit down you know."

That's when my senses kicked in. What in the world was I doing? I didn't even know him. For all I knew he could have been an axe murder. _An axe murder that was very cute. Ugh! Stop! _"I'm sorry but I don't really sit with random strangers on roof tops."

He laughed. "My name's PJ. PJ Liguori." He held out his hand for me to shake.

"I'm Zelda Evans." I said while taking his hand.

PJ's mouth hung open and went wide-eyed. "You're kidding right? Your name is actually Zelda?"

I tucked the lose strands of my dark brown hair behind my ear. "Y-Yeah. My dad was a big video game nerd. We would spend hours playing old Nintendo games on the weekends when I was younger. Zelda was his favorite. "

"Could you get any more perfect?" He blurted out.

"I uh…" I felt my cheeks burn a little.

He laughed. "You can't take a compliment very well can you?" It came our more of a statement than a question.

I shook my head and stood there quietly.

He nodded and then smiled. "Well Zelda, since we're no longer strangers, can you sit down now?"

I thought it over. He seemed like a nice boy but could I trust him? Could I trust myself? _It's just one night Zel! It couldn't hurt to have some fun_. I shrugged. "I suppose."

Slowly I lowered myself down to the stop next to him. The roof was a little steep and the last thing I wanted was to fall off. I leaned back to where I was laying down. The sky was beautiful. Not a single cloud in sight. There were a few stars and the moon was full. We were at least an hour away from London so there weren't any city lights ruining the gorgeous view.

Besides the loud party music coming from downstairs, the night was very peaceful. I felt much more relaxed than I did earlier. PJ helped a little with that.

"So Zelda," He turned to me, leaning on his arm. "Tell me about yourself."

I told him the bare minimum about me; which was the same amount I told Taylor. He didn't need to know about my family or my past. That part of me I kept hidden. I didn't even tell Taylor until two years of us being friends. If he stuck around long enough- which I doubted he would- then I would tell him.

We talked back and forth for a few hours. He was easy to talk to. I felt like I wasn't being forced to talk. Most people didn't like how shy I was. They usually forced me into conversations and I absolutely hated it. PJ didn't force me to say anything. If something got awkward he would change the subject or wait for me to say something. It was very refreshing.

Plus everything he had to say was insightful. He was a bit weird but surprisingly I understood everything he said. He had such passion that I could only dream to have. And the boy was funny too. Soon I found myself laughing more than I had in a long time.

"You have a very pretty smile." He said. I turned away embarrassed like I always did but I felt a hand move my chin back. "Please don't look away. You're so beautiful."

His voice was so soft and sweet. I found myself lost in it. My eyes locked with his and I knew what was about to happen. Slowly he leaned in but our gaze never broke. He stopped to where our lips were almost touching. My eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips. His hand moved from chin to my cheek making my chest beat rapidly. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and leaned in the rest of the way.

"Zel! Zelda where are yo-" My head turned to see Taylor sticking her head out the window. She was trying to hide a smirk. "I'll just leave you two."

PJ and I lightly chuckled as she walked away. I turned my attention back to him and rested my forehead on his. My fingers traced patterns onto his cheek as he did the same to my arm.

"I have to go." I whispered.

He nodded and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. I pulled away, got up and removed his jumper. Immediately the cold hit me again causing another violent shiver. I handed it back to him wishing I didn't have to.

"Thank you. Tonight was the best night I've had in a long time." I smiled.

He smiled back. "The pleasure was all mine Zelda." I turned away and climbed through the window. "Zelda!"

I poked my head out. PJ was standing with his hands in his pockets. "Yeah?"

He looked down at his feet. "Can I see you again?"

My smile grew big. He was acting awkward and it was really cute. I nodded. "I would like that very much."

He looked back at me with the widest smile I had ever seen on him.

"Goodbye PJ." I laughed.

"Goodbye Zelda."


	3. Chapter 3

After that night on the roof, PJ and I spent a lot of time together. He took me on all sorts of adventures. We went monster hunting and explored hundreds of Tiny Planets. I helped defeat Light Seekers and a giant Love Bug. He even introduced me the crazy characters that live inside his mind. PJ showed me the world through his eyes and I loved every minute of it.

His world was much different than mine though. His was full of bright colors, while mine was nothing but black and greys. There were no adventures or crazy characters; just loneliness. But being with PJ was the only time I didn't feel alone.

It terrified me how comfortable I was around him. I tried to distance myself the best I could, but it was too late. I was falling for him. And I was falling hard. I wasn't use to having these feelings for anyone. I didn't let myself. So I did the one thing I'm good at. I pushed him away.

And it worked. Except for the fact that I missed him too much. Not being with PJ brought the loneliness back. But not only did it come back, It got worse.

I would spend most of my time in bed, just staring off in the distance. I barely ate anything. The days seemed to blur into one. The only time I ever got out of the house was for work and the rare occasion, food. My mind thought if I kept this up, I would eventually waste away. And slowly, I was. But it wasn't going unnoticed.

"You need to go see him." Taylor said sternly as she marched into my flat. "This isn't healthy."

I shook my head. "I'm fine. I don't need to see him."

"Zelda look at you!" She lifted my shirt up. "I can see your bones. I haven't seen you smile in weeks. You're killing yourself!"

My eyes prickled with tears. I roughly pulled my shirt from her grasp. "I'm fine." I repeated as I walked past her to go to my room.

"Look Zel, I understand. We all-"

I turned around to glare at her. "You don't understand. You'll never understand! You don't know what it's like to lose everything you love! You don't know how hard it is to trust people not to leave. You don't know how much it hurts to push people away. You don't know anything! You don't -" My body suddenly started trembling and I felt a lump in my throat.

Taylor pulled me into her arms and rubbed my back as I violently cried into her shoulder. "Oh honey."

"I love him Taylor." I sobbed. "I really love him."

"I know Zel. I know."

Taylor soon left, after I stopped crying. She didn't want to leave me alone, but I reassured her that being alone was something I was used to.

When she was gone, I sat on the window bay of my flat, looking out into the busy streets of London. It was raining of course, but I always found peace in the rain. Even though the sky was covered in clouds, you could still tell the sun was starting to set. For once the hectic city was calming.

My thoughts drifted to PJ. I was torn. Every bit of me wanted to be with him. I also knew that if I were to be with him, he could leave. I thought by pushing him away myself was the smart thing to do. But I was really starting to regret the decision. It was cowardly and cruel.

I wasn't even sure he would forgive me. He shouldn't forgive me. I knew he was falling for me just as much I was falling for him. I knew how much it would hurt him and I did it anyways. I was too scared to let him in. I became something I never expect I would be. My father.

Then I thought what if he did forgive me? Would we end up together? It was a very nice thought. Being with him would make me happy. He was everything I didn't know I needed. But I hurt PJ too badly for us to be together.

I was so in deep thought, that I didn't notice how dark it was outside. I heard the front door open, but I assumed it was Taylor coming back to check up on me. I didn't feel like moving to greet her so I stayed put. Suddenly, I smelled a familiar sent that I knew didn't belong to Taylor. That's when I realized it wasn't her.

"What are you doing here?" I kept my gaze locked on the streetlights outside. I couldn't look him in the eye.

"Taylor told me everything." He whispered.

I closed my eyes. _Damn you Taylor._ "So what are you doing here?"

"You know why I'm here Zel."

I finally tore my gaze and looked over at him. He looked almost as bad as me. My heart broke at the sight of him. I didn't deserve him. So I got up from my seat and started to walk to my room.

"You can't keep pushing people away Zelda." PJ said softly. "You have to let someone in eventually."

I stopped and turned around to face him. "You can't save me, you know? I'm not some doll that you can fix. I'm beyond repair." I chuckled darkly. "God himself couldn't fix me even if he tried."

"I don't want to save you. I just want to be there when you need a helping hand. When you need that little push to keep going. When you need a reminder that you're not alone. I want to hold you in my arms at night and whisper about sweet nothings. I want to kiss you any damn time I feel like it. I want to love you more than I do right now." Slowly he walked towards me and placed his hands on my face. "You don't need me to fix you because you can fix yourself. You are strong even though you don't realize it."

I looked away from his eyes. "How can I know you won't leave like the rest?"

PJ tucked a lose strand behind my ear. "Because I'm not going to. I'll never leave until you tell me to."

When I didn't respond, he lifted my chin so I could look him in the eye. "You believe me, right?"

Could I believe him? I knew I wanted. And I definitely needed to. But could I? Could I really trust him to not break my heart? There's always a risk when it comes to trusting someone. No matter what you do, in some way you get hurt. The game is to choose whether or not it's worth being hurt over.

Suddenly, my mother's words came back to me and I knew the answer.

"I believe you."

The look on his face proved that I made the right decision. PJ smiled ear to ear before grabbed my face and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. It wasn't my first kiss, but it felt a million times better than the first. I didn't feel the cliché fireworks like in cheesy romance novels. There was no spark everyone talks about. Instead, I felt a warm vibration that coursed through my body the moment he touched my lips. It was completely new to me, but I gladly welcomed it.

When we pulled apart, PJ simply placed his forehead on mine with his eyes closed. "Wow."

I nodded and chuckled lightly. I pulled on his arm to where I was sat earlier. We laid there in silence. Just gazing into the sky like when we had first met. Only this time there were no stars out and we were no longer strangers.

In matter of minutes, I went from pushing him away to giving him my heart. It was a scary thing, but it was something I was really willing to do. My mother told me to only open my heart to one I thought worthy. And so I did.

What a big mistake.


End file.
